Sliver lining to big-black ‘o-o’ cloud!

October 26, 2009 at 9:57 pm (Uncategorized)

My son turned 5! It was weekend. It was great to have party the same day! Otherwise, it is generally on the following weekend.

All was set, invites were designed by me and my husband. We had decided that for first 5 years, we would have unique(unique means that we will be the first to do it over there in our friend circle) place for party every year and using paper invite instead of e-vite and me writing a small poem for the invite instead of plain words. It was a challenge to find the ‘unique’ place which is appropriate for his age and for our pocketJ My DH did it though this time. We had all the RSVPs, all goody bags bought and packed, cake ordered with bowling design as that is where we were going! All memory cards of the camera emptied to fill again! We were happy this time that my son has not fallen sick, since that happens every year that around his birthday he is bound to be sick. L Many of his friends were ready to be in their Halloween costume as we requested since Halloween is around the corner.


And finally the day arrived, we were on our way to pick up stuff before we go to bowling alley. And a couple of called were received mentioned that DS’s friend can’t make it because they fell sick. My husband answered the phone saying ‘o! o!’. My DS asks me “so mom how come we are getting all the ‘o-o’ calls?” and I agree, I was not getting a good feeling about the party. We stopped for balloon pick up and again ‘o-o’ somebody else was given our pre-ordered balloons by mistake, store prepared new balloons for us and threw in some for free to compensate for their mistake. And we are riding along again, fearing one more ‘o-o’. Now it was time to pick up the cake….and I went through all the cakes in the pick-up closet. I could not find cake with our name. My heart was throbbing fast. Cake can’t be ready again like balloons! And finally, got some help, by mistake they had put my cake in wrong direction that name was facing the wall, and the front was covered with other cakes. All the cakes were placed correctly, just ours was not. Phew! At-least cake is found got in the car, my DH was in hurry as we were now running late after these two incidents. I sat in and he placed the cake in my lap, before I get adjusted and get the cake in the right position, he closed the card door, and cake box was pushed, luckily, my reaction saved the cake. Plastic on the top was touching now the cake decoration as one corner of the box was pushed due to car door. I had to hold the plastic till we reached. We reached 15 mins late, guest started coming. We planned to reach at 2.15 as game starts at 3pm and asked friends to come 2.30 to allow time for kids to get their bowling shoes and all. We ourselves reached at 2.30 instead just to find out party room which was supposed to use for cake cutting and pizza eating after the game was not ready at all. One more ‘o-o’. My DH got all the kids to get shoes etc, and I spent time getting the room ready as guest kept coming, I spent very little time with my DS outside – in bowling alley. When I came out when room was ready, my MIL told me that my DH fell in bowling alley while trying to help my son. A big ‘O-O’. Everything went ok afterwards – kind of – many friends ended up leaving sooner as they had another party afterwards which had come after accepting our invite. So could not do group pictures etc as planned. But still there were plenty kids. My son did not eat at all while all his friends enjoyed pizza and chocolate cake. Finally we went home and my husband realized his pain in his neck, back and wrist. With the fracture he had gone through last year, we did not want to take chance. After dropping DS and in-laws at home, we went to urgent-care. Luckily doc said no fracture, All we need is pain management. Came back, it was time for DS bed as next day school start and we had his school birthday celebration scheduled for Monday. We had to get ready for it. My MIL mentioned that he did not eat well. I was worried, he did not eat well at party and not now, what is going on? He is not a good-eater but he would still eat little bit. When putting to bed, I felt he was so hot and measure his temperature – 101.8. a VERY BIG ‘O-O’. It explains not eating. Gave him Tylenol. I was with him in bed, tired, frustrated and thinking why is he sick always around his birthday….this time while I was happy he was not, it came up end of the day…and in fever also he was happy, smiling, not ready to sleep so that he can be with me for more time, wanting to talk to me. He told me, ‘Mom! You know! I really loved bowling today. It was so so so so so much fun!, when will we go again?” and there! There was that silver lining to my big black cloud of ‘o-o’s in the day! I was satisfied, I was happy that final result was still the same after all the ‘o-o’s. He was happy and enjoyed his party.


He is still sick and running fever. My MIL was rush to ER last week due to her leg issue. My FIL who never had BP issue is running high BP. My DH is still in pain with his fall. In family of 5, 4 are not doing well. I am though! And project deadline is upon me. Caffeine in-take is very high for me now. But I am getting strength from those words, “mom, I really loved bowling today…. “



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Earth needs me and I need earth – though a day late

October 16, 2009 at 9:00 pm (Uncategorized)

Earth needs me and I need earth
(Nursery rhyme’s lines from my son’s school)

We all have heard about ‘going green’. How to do it? We all can’t plan out to have ‘zero’ trash or live without electricity for months. Here are the simplest things you can do which would impact earth bigger and for better. When a common person can not go ‘totally green’ without extra time, efforts and money, here are some steps anybody can follow.

1. Switch off lights when not needed, not only you help earth and its environment but also you are saving good money
Did you know?: A 15-Watt Compact Fluorescent Light gives the same light as a 60-Watt incandescent using a quarter of the energy.
2. Use water wisely, save energy. Water is abundance on earth but to get the quality we need to get to us, it does consume lots of energy, and impact earth in the process
Did you know?: Resources are consumed not only to get water in usable state but also in removal and cleaning of waste water too
3. When not in use, unplug appliances, it saves electricity
Did you Know?:
4. Drive smartly can be done in so many ways. For example no sudden start/stop, regular maintenance of vehicle can save lots of gas
Did you know?: It takes 20% to 30% more gas to drive at 70 mph than 50 mph.
5. Choose your food wisely to reduce your carbon footprint
Did you know?:

6. Recycle smartly, understand symbols and follow
Did you know?:

7. Say no to plastic bags, disposable silverware. Use reusable items instead.
Did you know?: Earth is running out of landfill space. About 380 billion plastic bag or other such items are used every year
8. Buy energy efficient appliances
Did you know?:One can get tax-break by buying energy efficient appliances
9. Plant trees as many as possible
Did you know?:

10. Follow above mentioned steps, make a habit. Pass on the word. Follow R/R/R: Recycle/Reuse/Reduce
Did you know?: If we follow this, our children will thank us.

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We women rock!

September 30, 2009 at 7:45 pm (Uncategorized)

We women rock because the hand that rocks the cradle can rock the world

Weather it is a paved path or rock-y, we are strong- as strong as a rock

We know hard-work. will come out with flying colors and shine like a rock

I just wanted (over)use ( 🙂 ) ‘rock’ in what I wanted to say hence the lines above, instead I could have just expressed as below.

We women rock because the hand that rocks the cradle can rock the world

Women are powerful because we make difference by bringing up new generation in a right way and by ourselves – by dominating on many fronts including career/biz

(I edited the famous saying ‘hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, that is, women/who raises kids can rule the world by raising the kids in a right way so that kid can make a difference in this world. I am changing it a bit by saying, if we can make a difference through our kids by raising kids correctly, why don’t we do it ourselves?, we can and we do)

Weather it is a paved path or rock-y, we are strong- as strong as a rock

We are fine in any situation –steady or shaky. We know how to fight back and be strong (like a rock)

We know hard-work, will come out with flying colors and shine like a rock

We work hard for what we want and we excel at it, we know how to make our place and shine (like a rock – diamond)

Three cheers to these career-women!

(After reading a blog of a blog-friend, I agree women have been working since the start of human-generation then what is up with really ‘working-woman’ term. So I coin a word ‘career-woman’. Seems it is self-explanatory though one can argue that in past women had careers by helping in the family business – say farming. I agree but it was ‘help’ and they did not make any money as blog mentions. Also it was not seen as main accountable person for the whole business. So let’s put it this way, career-woman who thrives to make difference in this world, held accountable for a role she has outside her house and makes money out of it. I can still see some arguments going, but that is not the point of this blog I have so I am not going into details.)

(and I know in that introspect, I should change my name to ICW from IWW 😉 )


Any day is a woman-day, happy woman-day!

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Aarushi Talwar and Annie Lee

September 24, 2009 at 8:27 pm (Uncategorized)

Both the ladies were murdered in their known and closed territory, Aarushi in her house and Annie in her office. Avid watcher of crime shows like I am, can tell it was open-shut case because it was done in victims’ own area. Easy to find evidences, easy to find motives and easy to drive a list of suspects and drive conclusion. While both are unfortunate incidents, Annie finds justice in few days as it happened in U.S. and Aarushi is still waiting for one even after 16 months, just because in happened in India?


Chronological info for both the cases can be found here or just search for their names on web.




When I came across news that Aarushi’s cell phone found 16 months after her murder, it was not a shocker till I read details that it was being use all this time. In this technology era, when India can make a breakthrough in findings like water on moon, why would it take to such a long time to locate a working (on and off) cell phone?


In Annie’s case, police collected over 100 forensics evidence, in Aarushi’s case, police happily allowed media to roam around in the area of crime scene. Why? Did they already know it was going to happen and wanted to lose the evidences?

From many places no fingerprint was collected? Why? Lack of diligence, lack of knowledge or lack of integrity and honesty?

Police did not see blood trail going up the terrace? (Where Talwar’s domestic helper’s body was) why? Simply negligence?

Parents used to lock Aarushi’s bedroom every night? Why? Were they suspecting something?

Some site reports Talwars were not home when it happened and some mentions they slept through the murder? What is the truth? How parents can leave a teenage daughter at alone with ‘male’ domestic helper.

Aarushi’s vaginal sample was switched? Why? Lab tech who did the testing knows Talwars is just a co-incident?


My list of ‘Why’ can just go on but it is not the point. Question is Annie’s murderer is found and Aarushi is still waiting. Example of ‘water on moon’ shows we are not behind in technology so what is taking too long?

And if the domestic helper did it, or father did it, is it a shoddy social system we have?

Police did not do due diligence in initial investigation because they were bribe or they were not trained, then is it shoddy protection/legal system we have or shoddy education system we have?

CBI is still probing the case and as some reports, CBI planting and finding evidences, again is it shoddy protection/legal system we have?

Also after finding the cell phone, update is there was a number she talked for hours, does technology do us more harm than good? Should we not allow our kids to have their freedom, their space, and exposure to technologies for mundane life?


When Annie’s murder can be found so soon why Aarushi has to wait is my only question. Main lead on CBI for this case has been change has been many time and I hope some ‘mai ka lal/lali’ would come now and get Aarushi justice in a righteous way.

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Does it represent Indian National Dress?

August 26, 2009 at 11:20 pm (Uncategorized)

I am back from vacation. Nice trip to Canada. Hate to get back to grind…for the first time i have this feeling. When people used to say so, i never understood the feeling. It is totally a different subject, anyways….

I was browsing news. I like .

I tend to go to due to natural affection I have for my country. And this is what I found

Do you really see that as our national costume? And what should be our national costume? Sari? May be…then what is they way to wear – Maharshtrian way, Gujarati way, bengali way…? Or Ghaghra choli…or salwar kurta….? It is a big question…..what is our national costume. As correctly mentioned by Gandhiji….unity in diversity….we have diversity in dresses too. So why the desginer adopted this pattern of Gaghra-Choli? I do not question selection of Ghaghara choli vs. Sari vs Salwar Kurta. I question the print and pattern. Blouse does not represent ‘indian’. Not becuase it is revealing. I do not have any issue with it. It feels more like design taken from westenr style evening gowns and not from our style of blouses. We do have revealign blouses in tribes, pattern could have been adopted from there. And the print on Ghaghara…..I do not see it speaking out loud …”this is Indian”. The entire dress may look indianized but not indian. When wore together, we can call it is Ghaghra choli but individual part of it, when seen individually, it does not speak ‘indian’. For example….fabric print on Ghaghara…leaving our peacock, flowers etc print out, why adopt such an ‘abstract art’?

I will keep this sort….not disucss much upfront and wil wait for comments. But am I just being ignorant (not knowing much about all the cultures in India) or speaking the truth…? What is your take?

PS: no doubts that Ekta does look stunning… 🙂

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August 17, 2009 at 10:53 pm (Uncategorized)

Funny Quote of the Day (Aug 17, 2009)

So what is the truth?

 The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
Natalie Wood

Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.
Marlene Dietrich

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The Balance Bar

August 7, 2009 at 12:17 am (Uncategorized)

This is for all working women (of course, indian!) out there…especially in US. How do you juggle ur everyday task.

One who has full time job….demanding one, does not matter technical or not. Brain work does drain one out.

Having old in the house with you. Nice people, full of love and support but too old to lead the house hold things.

A kiddo or two….growing up, going to school, taking various classes.

And a spouse….

I sleep 5-6 hrs everyday, yet i do not find time to do extra activties, and let alone extra actvities, I hardly sit down with my son everyday to play or to snuggle him. Everyday we are togather is when we go to bed….and then he is way to excited to get my time. In everyday so much time pressure because no way one can find or afford labor everyday, all work has to be done by one’s self.  Always running around, doing things on the clock….my 4.5 years old son got into habit of asking “mom, do we have time today?” when I ask him why…..he would probably say “can i take bubble bath?” “can you play with me little bit?” This hurts me the most.

Playing a role of engineer, ideal bahu, wife and mom (note missing ideal infront of wife and mom) is not an easy task. I am looking for some help….how other indian working woman cut corners (literally, not being time efficient but getting into ‘can do without it’ attitude), also be time efficient and find time for theirselves.  It becomes so easy to handle stuff when in-laws are not here with us. Having to cook fresh everyday – twice a day, that too ‘good’ and full meal (no – no entry to pasta when they are here)  – it is not an easy task.  How do you handle in-laws to adjust to your life style and yopu having to change your life style to suit them? In-laws or not, what are your tricks to cut corners, time managment….

Please share away….

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July 21, 2009 at 5:13 pm (Uncategorized)

Funny Quote of the Day
All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband some day.
Franklin P. Jones
more Famous Quotes

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Pressure of festivals

July 13, 2009 at 10:27 pm (Uncategorized)

As a child, when there was an essay writing for ‘our festivals’; I made sure to write that festivals are created to bring change in our lives from our routine. It is supposed to bring joy to our lives and bring family together.

I felt truly so but as ‘bahu’ – especially working woman, it became so much of pressure then anything else. Also, most of our festivals relate to food and it puts me in bad situation – being a bad cook which I am. (you will see this coming up as my weakness in many blogs so sorry for being stereotyped here!)

May it come to presenting to VP, discussing weighted value calculations, analyzing data and driving the decision…all seems a breeze. But when it comes to Ganesh Chaturthi, getting up and making laddus and doing puja then I start worrying and stressing out a month in advance.  What if I have some deadline around that time and I am really working hard – day and night and I can not find time to make laddus? What if it falls in weekdays and I want to cook laddus in advanced on weekend? What if they do not turn out to be good?  Then here comes the ‘nag pancham’ – what if i could not observe fast as my FIL did (consider me living in joint family – my PIL are with us, half of the year – every year), what if I did not draw the picture correctly as my FIL did (so with increasing age PILs have passed down ‘rituals’ of family to me so what they did – now I am supposed to do it.) In Diwali – it seems to much pressure to clean each and every cabinets and its contents the way moms did. And cooking so much food…argh!

Also I am always in good spirit to celebarte x-mas or halloween than I am in for our festivals for a couple of reasons. Being in US, i have holidays during amrecan festivals so it kinds of takes the pressure off in terms of time. Also again being in US, it really feels in the air for american festivals unlike Diwali or other indian festivals here. And really not being an american I can celebrate without getting into customs (phew!) 🙂 Also easy to remember when it comes without being worried about lunar calendar which we would follow for most of our festivals.

Having said this, I really am not atheist – I am actually theist in my way…..not following rituals, i do neither question existence of God nor oppose some of our customs. I just ask for little bit freedom here to continue true meaning of festival as I stated above in the beginning. As much as I want to teach my DS (dear son) about our culture, and feel it is necessary especially being 10k miles away from home country, I do not agree to rigidity. Why one can’t just pray to Lord Ganesha on ganesh-chaturthi and enjoy store-bought laddus? Cleaners clean my house every 15 days and I keep cleaning cabinets etc as needed through out the year, what so big deal about taking all dishes out and cleaning all at once during Diwali? And when i really do not believe in fasting ‘shitala satam’ for my child’s sake (and really, which god/goddess is going to punish you and your child because you did not observe fast for that god?)

My philosophy is what Lord Vishnu showed to Narad Muni. Story goes like this. Narad – so proud praying 24/7 …’narayan naryan’, asks once Lord Vishnu – “who is your the biggest disciple?” and waited to hear his own name. Narad was  shocked to hear some farmer’s name instead. When challenged by Narad about him being the biggest ‘bhakta’, Vishnu gives Narad a bowl full of oil – to the top, and asks him go around the earth without spilling a single drop. On return, Narad is asked that how many time he said ‘narayan’. Narad replied how is it possible to focus on bowl of oil and at the same time pary to god. Vishnu sends him off to observe the farmer who prayed to got first thing in the morning for a minute and goes about his day at the fram. After very hard work al day long, at the end of the day he does not forget to thank god for good things in his life. After that Narad learns the biggest lesson.

Same way, I have hard time keeping up with all the things go on in my life, yet god is nearest and dearest to my heart, just can’t go about following rituals rigidly. I do appreciate them who can. I just do not think it should be imposed. Same way festivals, it is hard to follow evrythign traditionally though I celebrate them. And again considering cooking as my weakenss, I have hard time meeting the expecations. So instead of bringing joy, festivals bring just stress. Of course, it brings change but not a good kind.  I truly appreciate working woman who can do it all without being imposed.

What is your take on celebrating festivals?

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Hello world!

July 8, 2009 at 5:50 pm (Uncategorized)

Hello Readers!

This is my first blog and I plan to blog about burning issue in my life, in my heart and brain – may be due to my weaknesses or may be due to needs in family or may be something else. I feel that it may relate to somebody out there and I can gain some different perspective or get a ‘humraz’.

I planned to start blogging after setting my homepage, with organized thoughts in my blog but I could not really hold my self back, so here we go! I will start blogging right away and other things will fall in place as I go..eventually 🙂

Happy reading.

Would love to hear from you on topics you agree – disagree.  Please be respectful and earn your repect. 🙂

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