Modern Parenting 101

September 4, 2009 at 7:06 pm (Parenting)

In 21st Century, how we raise or want to raise out child has changed a lot from how our parents or grandparents did. For one, I almost end up treating like my DS as an adult in the house for the most part (though I make sure  he knows ‘who is the boss’ 😉 I have lots of differences from what/how my in-laws want to do things for my DS.  Like, my MIL goes ‘do not allow kid to touch anything in the car, it is very risky’…rightly so if we have not discussed the rules and safety issues. I allow touching stuff in the car with restrictions. Honking horn is ok, using car-keys is not. I think that helps kids to feel importance and learn responsibilities. Another example, I would get help from my DS to unload the dishwasher or to put laundry in dryer from washer. For me it is a step towards being ‘independent’. For MIL, earning (because he is a man, you know what I mean) is (and for now, him being able to eat by himself and such things are only under the list of  being independent) part of being independent. Anyhow, I can go on and on.  But idea of parenting for basic essential is still the same- showing love, giving time, listening, trusting….and much more. But though the concept remain the same, how we do it has changed, in my opinion. I came across following two poems and I think they capture it beautifully….they say it all….i rest my case 🙂

“Everyday I Have My Child to Raise Over Again”by Diane Loomans 

Every day I have my child to raise all over again.

I will build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I will finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I will do less correcting, and more connecting.

I will take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I will care to know less, and know to care more.

I will take more hikes, and fly more kites.

I will stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I will run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.

I will do more hugging, and less tugging.

I will see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I will be firm less often, and affirm much more.

I will model less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.

 

 

Lifetime Memories for Our Children

Pause with your child—when others hurry by;

Walk with your child—when others are running;

Smile with your child—when others can only find frowns;

Listen to your child—when others appear preoccupied;

Talk with your child—when others prefer shouting;

Hug your child—when others fail to sense the power of touch;

Read with your child—when others have forsaken curiosity;

Play with your child—when others prefer being entertained;

Apologize to your child—when others pretend perfection;

Dream with your child—when others have become too cynical.

by Dr. Anthony Witham, The American Family Institute

When my son is about only 5-6 weeks away from being 5 now, and while I tell him ‘no kicking’, I still chreish the kicking he did inside me. I feel blessed by having motherhood and feel fortunate to be a woman (else I could not have felt the kicking the way I did 😉 )

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